Be kind. You never know what someone else is going through.

... I remember 6 years ago how depression was real. At first, I didn’t know what it was, I was “functioning” well, or so I thought. Yes, I was leading but I didn’t have the support system I have now. I didn’t have the friends that I have now. And most importantly the stigma and lies of the enemy about this topic was broken in my family. I was able to have real conversations and it was okay for me to say “I’m tired”, still working on that one but it was a huge start. I remember I would drive to school almost two hours each day because of traffic, arriving at 7:50am, parked where I could rest for a bit, check into school at 8:30am get out of school by 4:00pm drive back (because of traffic) sometimes 2:30hrs straight to serve at our young adult ministry. At times I was so hungry, we had to set up and then place everything back. Sometimes people needed more time to talk so I would stay or continue at a phone call, around 10:00pm. There were days I didn’t sleep much because of homework. Still... I was grateful I had a chance to serve, but in this season it was not easy. I didn’t have space for personal time. So, that year when we lost a lot (you all have heard this testimony before) things became a little dulled for me. I remember I wasn’t myself, I remember at that time also having a confrontation and when I was being asked about something my mind would go blank, I remember driving two times not remember where I was going and I had to call my mom; that’s when I knew something was really wrong. My past (the bullying, the pain, the rejection) everything came above my surface. One day, after I was already getting help and being better. I was able to serve again on a conference from my church and a person who was serving there too said to me:

“...You know I thought you were mad like two months ago ” I replied, “how so? “ She answered, “...well I was talking to a few, specially to my sister and we all agree you weren’t the same person. You were more distant. You would leave quickly, we begun to think you were prideful or angry haha” It was so hard to confess to her something only my family and close ones knew... I said: “I was going through a rough time... I think it was depression. “ Then she continued saying: “oh! That’s what I thought! Actually, my sister had gone through that and she has taken pills for that. Have you taken pills? It happens...” I responded: No, I haven’t. And I’m so sorry your sister has gone through this too. But can you do me a favor? Or to anyone else you see a sudden change. Don’t judge us. Next time instead of talking about me “with a few” why don’t you all just pray for me? Or better yet I needed community, if God let’s you see something in me, with love you could’ve ask me or insisted to take me out for a cup of coffee and just be there. Guys, always give the benefit of the doubt... be kind, you never know what someone else is going through. Actually I feel people don’t even pause to check in with themselves. Instead of being a blessing your character, comments or ignorance can bring more pain to people. What I learn about this person was that they were so used to me giving that not receiving anymore made them talk. Remember it’s not always about you, God call us to love unconditionally. You make not like me or other people. But at the end of the day we are family in Christ, let’s act like it. Kindness goes a long way... it can look like buying groceries for someone else, inviting someone to your home to eat, to drink a coffee or take them a coffee. Man when I say love on your leaders... appreciate their time. It’s because most of them serve willingly which means, from their pockets comes out the gas, time, events, snacks, phone bills, car bills, loans, they even invest in their own growth for you! This is why and many other reasons that I am passionate to listen, pray and support other leaders. People think that depression is only a spirit/demon, others could think you just want attention, others only think is a mental illness that cannot be fixed, and others don't even know what it is. After 8 months struggling with depression. I received my breakthrough. That breakthrough release more boldness to what we now called www.transformeproject.org I am committed to my job and my city because I know what it feels to have no one. I know the struggle of accepting whats really going on and how being misunderstood can cause more pain. This is one of many stories to come. My heart prayer today is that you will wake up to know that suicidal rates are higher than never before. Also, in USA this is the second leading cause death. Finally I pray you will help me share your story by adding this #SPEAKPURPOS3 and to never forget to spread kindness no matter how different a person can be. Today I stand with everyone who is bringing awareness of #worldsuicidepreventationday 2020.

P.S. people would also say, during this season, that the enemy took away my identity. But that's not true, I knew who I was but somehow depression/anxiety had lied to me and stole my purpose. Through Jesus today I can say... cheers to another day of victory! I won! We won! Adios past and hello future.